December 4, 2008

My life sure is different than it used to be.  Nothing is the same.  My friends are different, my work is different, my studies are different, my life is different.  I think maybe I’m starting to know why, or that there is a purpose, but it is so bittersweet.

I miss the days gone by.  I desire to never be separate from my best friend, but even that seems impossible at times.  I’m in a different place.  I used to be completely musically wrapped up with music, playing, practicing, and more practicing.  I’d play and practice with friends - and then bake brownies afterwards.  I haven’t forgotten.

Now I’m studying Microsoft, I’m completely computer oriented and weirdly love it.  I guess it’s a way I find a sense of accomplishment and if I can make money at it too, all the better.  I play music more these days, but its not my driving force anymore.  It’s a good feeling to know I’m still wanted and if that if they didn’t already know what I would say they would be begging me to come back…ok, they are anyway.  So that’s a nice feeling.  I love doing well at things. 

So instead of classical I’m down-hoe and country.  I used to attend all the Temple Symphony but now there’s no friends to go with me, and its not the same.  Instead of playing classical in the orchestra, I’m playing bluegrass, blues, irish reels, and country fiddling like Old Joe Clark, Blackberry Blossom, Rose of Sharon… I’m working on my double-stops, slides, and bowing, fast and accurate and a whole new style of playing. 

I work full-time plus another job, and possible 2 extra jobs.  I don’t get paid enough for my work, but am happy to live with it.  I get up early, don’t stay out at night much, but study, attend computer workshops, teach people how to be better computer/secretary’s in churches.  I’m Microsoft office certified in Word, Excel, Shepherd’s Staff certified in Finance, Membership, Contributions, & Reports.

I know what kind of work I like to do.  I thrive on doing stuff with other people’s work, but hate developing from the ground up.  Give me ideas and info that you want - shoot, I’ll ask you want you want and make you think, but you tell me what you want, and I’ll get it done for you.

I don’t lead like I wish I could, but I suppose that can change.  I want to put together a time for the church office secretaries to get together and exchange ideas and tips.  I’m working with someone tomorrow showing them how to work with programs to develop their bulletin, and there’s more people who could benefit.  I’ve learned a lot and enjoy showing people how to do their work faster, make it look better and in the end making everybody happier.  Its hard for me to slow down enough to keep it on their level.  Hopefully I’ll do better tomorrow. 

I don’t do puzzles anymore.  I haven’t put one together in a long time, but did take one class on hand quilting and have made two quilts.  My first one was hand pieced and computer machine pieced and then hand quilted - it was funky looking, but really cool, I still want o make another one like it. It was for a single bed.  The second is a large queen quilt, beautiful and sewed with tears.  Machine pieced and hand quilted. 

I value my friends even more, and I haven’t forgotten the others.  Actually I think of them often.  My friends are now entering the marriage time and I, who had a guy first, will probably be the last to actually get married.  Such is life.  Hopefully I won’t have 27 dresses before I actually get married.  Heck, I don’t have that many friends!  LOL

I forget stuff - which makes it nice for movies, so I can watch the Incredibles over and over and not get tired of it because I don’t remember the little lines or what’s coming next.  People are convinced that I have alzheimers.  I say its because I’m an office manager. 

I care about strangers more.  I realize that I’m not better than the other person on the street, and just as I might think they don’t deserve food/gas/money and why haven’t they been more responsible, I’m not any better than them and don’t deserve any better!  I’m only saved through Jesus’ love and blood.  And it doesn’t matter what I think, I’m called to serve them.  I have a blast buying food for local pantries, and giving money to people.  I found that even though giving to God first He has increased and I’ve never been in want.  I can practice self-control in order to bless someone else.  To be a finger of God.

I don’t have a perfect family life.  In fact, its like most everybody elses’.   

I am my worse critic.  Its pretty bad sometime.

I have discovered the awesomeness of waxing.  Will never return to other methods.

It makes me super happy to help other people. 

I miss my baby.

“The three great essentials to achieve anything worthwhile are:

first, hard work;

second, stick-to-itiveness;

third, common sense.”

November 25, 2008

Huge rant, excuse me.  If you’re gonna be offended, don’t read it.

Today was HORRIBLE.  I’m STILL mad and its 7:30 in the evening.  There’s nothing (it seems) that irks me more than LAZY STUPID PEOPLE WHO THINK ONLY OF THEMSELVES!  It seems like they have a job but all they do is sit around and blame other people because of mistakes or information that’s wrong.  WHY CAN’T PEOPLE BE MEN/WOMEN WHO ARE WILLING TO GET UP OFF THEIR LAZY BUTTS AND ACTUALLY WORK?!?!  Or do what’s RIGHT for once?!  It would make my life a HECK of a whole lot easier and nicer.

Please people.  What is SO difficult about doing the right thing?  What’s so hard about doing the work you’re supposed to do?  And people who don’t do those things sure aren’t respected like people who do!  Trust me.  I know.

I’m SO frustrated right now.  Just plain mad.  And so I get to take the blame and suffer for it…when I’m trying to do my best, and all I get for it is a bunch of nothing.  Right now I feel like dumping everything and finding people who really appreciate me/love me or something.  Maybe that’s all wrong, but it suuure feels that way. 

If you want something, you gotta pay for it.  And if you REALLY want something, you gotta be willing to pay the price.

PERIOD.

Did Christ instructions are clear: “Therefore, whatever you want me to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.”  Jesus did not say, “In some things, treat people as you wish to be treated.”  And He did not say, “From time to time, treat others with kindness.”  Christ said we should treat others as we wish to be treated in every aspect of our daily lives.  Common courtesy should begin at home.  So today, be a little kinder than necessary to everyone you meet, starting with your family.  As you consider all the things which Christ has done in your life, honor Him with your words and deeds.  He expects no less.  He deserves no less.

“You will accomplish more by kind words and a courteous manner than by anger and sharp rebuke, which should never be used, except in necessity.”

“There is nothing that rejuvenates the parched, delicate spirits of children faster than when a lighthearted spirit pervades the home and laughter fills its halls.”

“Anything done for another is done for oneself.”

“When you extend hospitality to others, you’re not trying to impress people; you’re trying to reflect God to them.”

“People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”

“Pleasant words are like a honeycomb.  Sweet to the soul and health to the bones.”

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”

“Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.”